Archive for January, 2011

More Fitness Wisdom from B-Fogz

Uncategorized | Posted by Brian PCF
Jan 14 2011

TX: B-Fogz
So I received the following email (ref below) from one Declan L. this afternoon and quickly realized that I had an instant classic on my hands.  In his defense, I know that he has been pretty sick the last couple of days which may/ may not be a direct result of his body’s reaction to abstaining from alcohol, thus upsetting the perfect balance of alcohol and energy drinks that was keeping him alive.  When he told me that he was going paleo and dry for the month of January, I predicted that his body would react as such.  The only reference/ comparison that I could go off was when Mr Burns (Simpsons) was deemed the sickest man alive but all of his diseases were somehow keeping him alive which ultimately led him to believe that he was indestructible at the end of the show.  My laughter was only subsided by the thought of, “Oh f*ck.  I have to do this in a few hours.”  Random thought: this would make for a good “green on green” day if anyone wants to kick that at the 6:00.  But alas, I digress and will let Declan’s timeline speak for itself.  Enjoy…

Date: Fri, 14 Jan 2011 14:24:04 -0500
Subject: Fran
From: DL
To: B-Fogz

So, it might have been a bit too soon for me to return to the gym and certainly not a good opportunity for me to reacquaint myself with that terrible bitch Fran. I had this weird workout guilt thing overcome my brain at 11:52 this morning and before I really had time to process these emotions I was in workout clothes and walking into the 12 WOD. It was Fran, 21/15/9 of Thrusters and Pull-ups. This is my favorite workout and worst case scenario I could take it slow and not kill myself.

Fast forward 35 minutes and the warmup was nice, really opened up my muscles worked out some of that nastyness in my right shoulder and got the blood flowing. I should have left then.

Fast forward 5:59 seconds later and a) I wish I had not RXd b) I wish I had taken it slower and c) I wish that I was dead.
Fast forward 5 minutes later and I can barely function to put away my weights and I battle the desire to throw up on the floor with maintaining my dignity. Pride wins.
Fast forward 3 minutes. I eagerly round the corner onto 11th street and throw up mid step.
Fast forward 15 yards, I throw up midstep again.
Fast forward 5 feet, I take a knee and get the rest out. Look over my shoulder, the horrified people watching are not members of the gym, I am relieved and walk home.
Fast forward 15 minutes and the uncontrollable shaking subsides.
Fast forward 72 minutes and I wake up to my dog licking the sweat off my body that is lying in the fetal position on the couch with gym clothes and jacket still on.
Fast forward 10 minutes, I regain enough dexterity to type this message but not enough mental capacity to write in a way other than fast forward.

Enjoy the workout.