B-Fogz Fitness Corner

Posted by Brian PCF
Apr 04 2011

Yet another wholly unedited guest post:

The masses have spoken (and by masses I mean like 4 or 5 people) have asked me when I am going to post another Fitness Corner blog so without further adu, Boomshakalaka!  Here you go:

-As usual I will be tacking a host of issues both in and outside of fitness because it’s my blog (and Brian lets me)…  And I will be sticking with the bullet format because years in the Marine Corps has left me unable to think or write in any other manner.  First off, I know that a lot of you (translation: the 8 of you that read this) have been wondering why I haven’t been putting up posts recently.  Theories ranged from me partying w Charlie Sheen like the section of F-18 Hornets that we are, powered by our shared tiger blood and Adonis DNA, just dropping truth bombs all over the place to the possibility that I am just lazy.  Rest assured, I took Dean Wormer’s words to heart when he told me, “Fat, drunk, and stupid are no ways to go through life son.”  As for my real whereabouts, well let’s just say that leading revolts in the Middle East is time consuming but alas, baseball season is back and so am I.  More on both later…

-The world has seen a lot of upheaval since I last posted…. and I am 98% convinced that all of the turmoil in the Middle East and N Africa can be traced back to 3 things:  (1) Tunisia went wild when it appeared as if Patriot CF would never open up  (2) Egypt was furious w Zuckerberger’s new privacy settings on Facebook and the possibilities that there would be a new .xxx domain specifically for porn and finally (3) confused by the new pricing/ contracts/ buy-ins, Muammar Gaddafi started laying rounds into his own people.

-In our own microcosm (not sure if I used that big word correctly but moving along…), Patriot Crossfit has successfully opened up to rave reviews.  Personally, I haven’t been over there yet because I am not a sellout but that’s another blog.  Apparently, this has satisfied just about everyone including the 0530 crew.  I didn’t even know that there was a 5:30 in the morning but apparently, there is…  However, I for one am not happy with the new opening and here are a few reasons why.  With the overcrowding issue alleviated, this has fostered a whole new set of problems for this kid.  First off, with increased coach-to-student ratios, it is much more arduous (what’s up SAT prep word) to screw around during warm-ups.  Also, the freeing up of equipment has left me fewer excuses to not do RX.  I loved when the WOD called for 55lb RX and I could grab a set of 30s while walking out and talking about myself being a team player…

-Hey Patriot CF patrons: you can enjoy your abundant equipment, thin pull up bars, and amenities like showers and bathrooms…  The hard core PCF warriors know that real men stake out the 4 good pull-up bars like vultures, hold their bladder until they can get next door to the bar, and drink in our funked up pt gear…

-For those of you who are still unsure about the new pricing and are thinking about going in a different direction with your pt regimen, your boy has got you covered…  I recently stumbled across this workout and it’s changed the way that I look at not only exercising, but everything in life that I hold dear.  It has functional movements, elements of self-defense, and a heavy emphasis on cardio.  Perhaps most importantly, some of the moves such as “the sun” can double as sick dance moves once you master them.  I’m thinking about dropping crossfit and doing this twice a day as prescribed…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLfuRcuZkn8&feature=related

And yes Penguin, I have already found and ordered his “Stud Muffin” t-shirt.  You can get the tighty whiteys…  And can someone involved in the production of this workout video please put away the neatly stacked towels that are on the couch???  This kid is working his ass off and the rest of you are amateur hour…

-I recently sent around an email where I found Andre’s long lost twin.  Last night, I had the opportunity to train with Jon PCF and found myself wondering where a guy who looks like he does, gets all of his confidence from.  I assumed that it was probably from his mother’s meatballs or something.  Anyways, I went home and applied my internet sleuth skills and discovered that he has always had that bravado or swagger.  In fact, here’s his middle school pic:

kid wearing t-shirt that says I fuck on the first date

-I will say that I was impressed with Jon PCF’s squat snatch.  More specifically, how “fast he was underneath the bar.”  I hear those words a lot and think that I am following that advice but sometimes it helps to watch someone properly execute it.  I haven’t seen someone move that fast under a bar since I was in the 6th grade and thought that chicks would be all over the limbo champ (an 11 year old Foges learned 2 things that day: they don’t and the back is not designed to bend 90 degrees the opposite way).   I am really looking forward to doing some wods that are more in line with the exercise tenants that were drilled into my head: drive through your toes, keep your legs locked, lift with your back, and use herky-jerky motions to get the weight up.  When that day comes, leader board here I come…

-I don’t post on the PCF comments but I do read through them because I am an internet predator and that’s part of my routine…  Some have asked me why and I never really have a good answer why.  However today, I noticed that an unnamed member (who I love to pieces) inquired about a discrepancy between the 400m courses at Patriot and PCF.  He/ she noticed this in part because he/ she saw a discernable difference in people’s times on the wods.  I’d also like to note that said individual is an accountant… in the height of tax season!!!  My point here is that I am an overweight, average height (for a pygmy) guy who’s aging in dog years and has a less-than-average IQ.  I don’t need anymore scrutiny in my life…  I simply want to look good naked or at least good enough to take my shirt off to pt with the other carnivores…

-Dealing with injuries:  I recommend car bombs.  I did several in the span of 30 minutes last Saturday and didn’t feel a whole hell of a lot after that.  Paul B and B-Mitch were also on the leader board.

-Speaking of the comment section, a Red Sox Nation turns it’s eye towards you Boston Mike and Jay M.  The Sox just started their World Series run and that means I have to cut this blog off now.  I had intentions of going into the Japan crisis, financial market, and NOVA open (all related) but I’ll save that for another day…  Can you believe that this guy is not only an “elite athlete” (read freak left arm) but also holds the Pennant hopes for the Yankees????   I heard that he “slimmed down to 290 lbs (seriously)…  Yeah, I don’t see him having any health issues…  Bwaaahahahahahaa!!!  Cue the duck boats, I see another championship parade in Boston this October!!!

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