B-Fogz Fitness Corner

Posted by Brian PCF
Apr 29 2011

“Is This Chart Usable?”

Forget about the 10 Pillars of Strength.  Your boy Kid Foges has managed to break them down into 4 simple levels (reference chart below)…

So I am trying to get some stuff done today and I stumbled across this “Hierarchy of Strength” chart and I immediately thought of how perfect that this would be for my next “B-Fogz Fitness Corner” because just a few weeks ago, 2 unnamed members (ahem, B-Mitch and Scott M, cough, cough) said that I had an unfair advantage at a recent wod because I possessed both “Old Man” and “Retard” strength.  Now, when you couple that with “Drunk Strength”, one can see how I instantly become the dominant athlete in any post-wod happy hour.  It explains why the rest of you mere mortals cower and retreat to your humble abodes with lame excuses like, “I have to be at work in 3 hours” or “Your plans are definitely going to land us in jail” or “I want no part in riding a police horse around town yelling for a showdown” or whatever…  Now, the question here isn’t whether or not this chart is accurate.  I mean, it’s science: it’s a well constructed/ designed chart with an arrow and everything.  Most importantly, it makes me look borderline superhuman (damn you gravity!) so I have no argument to dispute it’s validity, but the question is am I d*ck for using this to make my point???

Author’s side note: During a recent conversation with another athlete who happens to be a special needs teacher, I was told that it’s socially unacceptable to use the word “retard” which is a tough break for the mentally challenged.  I mean, they have enough to worry about as it is without having to come up with another name.  That aside, I immediately agreed with her and inquired about the word “retahd” which is what I used in the first place.  I took the stunned look on her face as a “yes, you are cleared hot” to continue to use “retahd” and took no notice of her subsequent dismissal from my table…

I guess that the real point that I am trying to make here is that if you feel like you have plateaued, you need to do something about it.  I was once told that by a commanding officer that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.  I later learned that he ripped that off from someone else but at the time, I thought that he was wicked smart (or at least right up until he had us doing the same thing over and over but that’s another story for another blog)…  If you want to break out of your current zone, I strongly recommend approaching one or more of the coaches and talking to them about it.  I was reluctant to do so myself for a long time until I stepped back and forced myself to evaluate what I was doing from an outside perspective.  Since then, I’ve picked several of the coaches brains and received some advice/ guidance/ technical tips that have resulted in tangible success… or as some may call it, “drunk retahd” strength…  And don’t wait for them to ask or approach you.  They’re not mind readers and at the end of the day, it’s your body and you’re the captain of your own ship.

I am out for Easter as I am heading back to New England (aka God’s country) celebrating the resurrection of Jesus in the most traditional way that there is…  by hiding eggs, eating chocolate brought by a giant mythical bunny (makes total sense) and ham while watching the Sox, Bruins, and Celtics like every other good Catholic…

Got something or someone you want me to blog about?  Put it in the comments section and I won’t get around to it until you buy me a cocktail and remind me…

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